Super Mario 64 (N64) Review

Is it still the same old Super Mario 64?

Yes, it is. I’m sure you remember that good old game with Mario running around in 64 bits and 3 dimensions. Myself, I remember it as if it was yesterday. That’s because it was yesterday – on Wii Arcade.

In Super Mario 64 you play as Mario. Only as one Mario, which given the title is disappointing, but he is super, I will give him that.

As a henchman for the plumber’s union you travel to an uncharted island to take care of the plumbing for your client, Bowser. Bowser, however, refuses to pay the additional costs needed to provide Mario with a proper HMO, and seeks to exploit the fact that he is an illegal immigrant, so instead of taking on the insane amount of plumbing needed in Bowser’s castle (seriously, there are entire levels underwater) Mario decides to go on strike.

While on strike he finds out that Bowser is employing animals (PETA, look out!) as well as holding a princess captive. Mario pays little attention to the tormented wildlife, and decides to deliver his union’s demands to the princess instead. But first he has to find the princess, and thus begins the story of Super Mario.

It ends with Mario rescuing the princess.

The gameplay is incredibly fun. Lots of variation in both setting and gameplay makes for a tasteful pasta salad of a game – one that I am sure Mario himself would appreciate if served to him back in his hometown of Naples. However, Mario is no vegetarian (again PETA, please get involved) because the experience does have some meat to its bones in terms of great music and memorable characters. My favourites including Michael, Sonny and of course Don Vito Corleone. Men of vision, no doubt.

But how does the game hold up in 2012? Well, you’d be shocked to know that the game hasn’t changed a bit! I thought it would be completey different, that up would be down, right would be left and left would be Tony Danza. Unfortunately the rest of the gaming world has changed, and Super Mario 64 now looks like complete crap in comparison. So, yeah. Try working on the graphics next time, Nintendo. But for its time the graphics were really good. Colorful and cheerful. I’m really quite surprised that the Wii can run it so smoothly.

So should you buy it? No. You should focus on paying your debt instead of making yourself entitled to play another game. But when you’re debt free, and freedom and liberty rules the world again, then maybe you can buy the game. Meanwhile I’ll be having the best time playing this game.

Super Mario 64

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