Obama Proposes Skylanders-based Economy

- Controversial bill to be presented in January

WASHINGTON, USA—President Barack Obama presented his administration’s plans to continue the reinvigoration of the American economy before Congress this morning. While most of the ideas in the address seemed to be in line with the Administration’s previous actions, many were caught off-guard when the President proposed making the Skylanders-franchise responsible for 25% of the U.S. Gross Domestic Product (GDP) by 2016.

“We have to realize that we cannot go back to the bubble-and-bust economy that led us to this point.” the President stated, urging Congress to consider his basis for a new and modern economy.

“We must lay a solid foundation for growth and prosperity and no foundation is more solid than plastic figurines. With this in mind, I believe that every American should be entitled to a Skylanders: Swap Force Starter Pack.”

Skylanders is a video game franchise where plastic figurines come to life on screen by draining life from the player.

Skylanders is a video game franchise where plastic figurines come to life on-screen by draining life from the player.

Following the announcement, The White House has revealed that the President is set to present a bill before Congress by the end of January, in which he suggests helping low-income families to begin collecting Skylanders. By encouraging every American to buy a Starter Pack, the President is hoping that Americans will be hooked on Skylanders and buy more figurines, which in turn will stimulate the economy.

While Obama’s proposal has been met with praise from economists, many conservative pundits are in a state of outrage after the announcement. One of them were radio show host Rush Limbaugh,  who went on a rant on the subject:

“There he goes again, folks. Obama just announced that he wants to make Americans buy Skylanders: Swap Force. You know, they say Swap Force has its name because it forces adults to swap their freedom away for plastic figurines.”

On the left side of the argument, liberal comedian and talk show host Bill Maher was pleased with Obama’s new plans for the economy.

“Am I the only one who thinks that not basing our entire economy on Call of Duty is a good thing?”, Maher asked members of his TV-panel. “For too long have we made our money by creating video games in which we go to war on foreign countries.”

Economist Paul Krugman, one of the panel members, agreed with Maher, adding that Obama’s proposal is relatively moderate, seeing how selling and manufacturing Skylanders-figurines already makes up 15% of the United States economy.

Even so, conservative commentator Ann Coulter, who was also on the panel, argued that Obama is doing what Japan did when they became overdependent on Pokémon.

“We can’t just let everyone get addicted to Skylanders”, she said. “We would be better off basing our economy on something less addictive, like Disney Infinity.”

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