- “Difficult to add bugs,” insider says
MONTREAL, QUEBEC – A reliable source spoke to Pixeled Courier yesterday about the reasons behind the delay of Assassin’s Creed 4: Black Flag’s PC version. He was able to confirm some of the suspicions the gaming community has had regarding previous Assassin’s Creed PC ports.
“We talk about port issues, but all of us here at Ubisoft really just hate PC gamers”, our inside-man could inform us.
While those in possession of a Playstation 3 or an Xbox 360 have already been frolicking through the beauteous open world of Black Flag for weeks now, PC gamers must wallow in gray misery until November 22nd.
“I understand that the delay is not ideal for the PC crowd – which is great for us,” our source continued, “but frankly, without the extra weeks to work on the PC version we would never be able to add some of the bugs. ”
“During these gap weeks, when we’re not busy counting our massive stacks of money, our team goes into crunch-mode, working hard to add new faults to the game. We also spend a lot of time polishing and testing the bugs. No one wants bugs in their bugs.”
When asked why the European Wii U release date was also moved to November 22nd, our informant replied “Oh the Wii U? We’re just releasing AC4 on Wii U as a joke. Do people actually own those? We sure don’t.”
“Do we at Ubisoft loathe PC gamers with every fiber of our corporate being? Possibly. Are we releasing a PC version of Assassin’s Creed 4 anyways? Grudgingly. Just buy a PS4, guys. Please?”
Turns out the source was a raging alcoholic with no connections to or affiliations with Ubisoft whatsoever. Still seems reliable, though.